Waiting and still waiting....

I have been licensed for 21 days (3 weeks) and still waiting on my first call. I am so anxious and my spirit is unsettled about not having a call yet. One train of thought is it's a good thing that I am not needed to take care of another persons' child but on the other hand, I know there are kids out there that need more love than they have and I want to give that to them. I know it will happen in God's perfect timing. And when I remind myself of that, I trust Him and He alone brings me the peace I need for the waiting.

While I wait, I fill my time relaxing and enjoying the quiet when I come home from work or going out with friends. And when I am not doing that I love being able to help out another single foster momma with her crew of 4 kiddos. Tonight was one of those nights and it has lead me to this blog post because I want to remember the emotions I am experiencing when caring for another mother's child.

There is a quote by Jody Landers famous among the foster parent scene that says; "A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me." And although I don't have have tiny ones calling me mom yet, I do think about my friends foster kiddos and as sat there and I comforted and rock a 2 month old with with a tummy ache and pains in this legs from his shots and as I taught a 15 month old how to stack blocks and listened him giggle my heart was overwhelmed with SO MANY emotions. 

The insane honor that we are entrusted to raise someone else's children baffles me. My heart is so so heavy for these tiny little humans who didn't choose this life. While most of these kids are way better off with the people who rise up to raise them, it kills me to think that someone actually chooses substances over their own child. My heart hurts and I weep for the mom (bio) who is missing out on teaching her little boy to stack blocks or who is missing out on bringing comfort to her newborn because her high from drugs is greater than her high she would get from caring for her littles.

I pray that I can keep this perspective once I have my own foster littles in my house. Yes I am angry at bad parents but I am more angry at the thing that is robbing them of the real high they could have as they love, protect, heal, strengthen, comfort, teach, uplift, encourage, guide, inspire, cherish, invest, and nurture their own children.

Jesus continue to break my heart for what breaks yours and thank you for entrusting us to love, protect, heal, strengthen, comfort, teach, uplift, encourage, guide, inspire, cherish, invest, and nurture little humans when their parents do not.